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pent up penned down thoughts;

"How far I'll go."

25/2/2017

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It's almost the end of the second month of the new year. Time needs to chill. Three more months and I'd possibly be done with my final exams and that would be the end of my university life. Goodbye, undergraduate life.

January exams results have been really shit and they're making my target of getting a First Class pretty improbable, considering how difficult this term's modules are, plus the unnecessary dissertation enforced upon us poor mortal souls. Nonetheless, I'm still clinging on to the little hope I have and fighting.

This month's been pretty stagnant. I've been alternating between attending classes and chilling at home (Saves money, really, to make up for my excessive spending last year). Hoping to quickly finish my dissertation (to my supervisor's level of satisfaction, that's all I really am asking) so I can actually start catching up on my studies.

I recently have the nagging impression that I've grown older, albeit my overemphasis on not wanting to grow up last year. I feel like I've lost the kid inside me - the person who would run around and giving "twist" signs and taking selfies with others. It might be the overcrowding of emotional stress last year that eventually numbed me from feeling any sort of excitement. Perhaps it's just academic life taking a toll on me and my shift in focus to a more simplified lifestyle that removes all other factors that would fall under a "Personal Life" category, which of course involves going out aplenty and drinking and indulgence in a social medium platform - none of which I actually do right now.

Yes, you heard me, I've officially deactivated my Twitter, Snapchat and Facebook accounts and have put my Instagram account on hiatus. I'm still suffering from the withdrawal of not venting every minute on Twitter and liking photos on Instagram that my time on my phone hasn't really decreased on such a large scale that makes it worthwhile going off these platforms, to the extent I question myself on whether there's a point in depriving myself of the need of virtual-social interactions. But no, no regrets. I'd eventually come back on these platforms, perhaps after my finals, or perhaps in Easter. We'll see.

I'm at the point where I'm so comfortable being alone, that the need for companionship has diminished. I'm pretty much in a phase now where academia takes priority and everything else becomes secondary and the only thing keeping me from shutting myself away from the world are my coursemates and clique.

It's okay. I'll revert back to my kiddy self who wouldn't leave his phone. 

But for now, let's see how far I'll go.
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12/3/2023 05:43:54 pm

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